When people ask me how I'm doing lately, I often reply in relation to my Small World/Big World perspective. I tell them that in my Small World, my life has never been better. I am happy in my marriage, I have five incredible kids who are all doing well and making the world a better place, I am happier in my job than I have been in years. I have a good relationship with my sisters and parents. I live in a great place, have a nice house and property. I am getting to travel and see more of the world and my life list of birds is over 500 for North America. Yep, my Small World is in good shape. And I feel really lucky and blessed.
But when I tell them how I feel about the Big World it is quite a different story. I am more disillusioned than ever with the political leadership in the United States. I am discouraged by, no actually, I am disgusted by, the war in Iraq. It is immoral, ill-founded, and creating many more problems than it is solving. I am disgusted too with our environmental policies. I read about the loss of species, the pollution, the warming climate, etc., etc. and I see that we are doing so little to help.
So this is my conundrum. If I take a close view and look at my Small World, I feel really good about things. But when I look at the United States and our current impact on the Big World, I feel lousy. So, lately, I have kept my focus on my Small World, because it is more under my control, and I can more directly deal with people and things at this level. But when I hear the news, read the paper, check Alternet.org, etc., I really wish things were different in the Big World.
I think this quote sums up what I'm trying to say:
"I arise in the morning torn between a desire to improve (or save) the world and a desire to enjoy (or savor) the world. This makes it hard to plan the day." E. B. White.
